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I'm feeling much better these days about my weight. I can honestly say I am in recovery from my eating disorder.
I gained almost thirty pounds at first, I went from 95lbs to 123lbs. I have not been happy about it but I have been trying hard and focusing on being healthy not thin, and eating in a manner that is healthy, not binging, not starving. I've slipped up along the way but I can honestly say I have not purged in almost two months and I have learnd to love ME. I still have times where I feel like I did, in fact it happens alot but I am not giving in to my negative thoughts. My boyfriend has been so supportive too. He loves my curves. =) I'll talk about hoy romantic he has been in a bit, for now back to my weight issues.
I am dieting again as of two weeks ago officially. I'm doing it right though, no more starving and all that. Good ol' fashioned exercise and healthy eating. I got to 123lbs When I began my new diet and have lost five pounds. I weigh in now at 118lbs! I have tone to my body and I feel great. I treated myself over the weekend to a shopping spree of 200$ to reward myself for losing five pounds. I got mostly shirts that fit now but will fit better when I reach my goal weight which is only eight pounds away. But I got some jeans (really cute freakin jeans) Which was important because If I try to fit back into the zero's I will be unhealthy. I need to accept my bodies new size. I have been lounging about in sweats and pj's through recovery and I just wanted so bad to be able to go out again to feel cute again. I think I have more confidence now, and I am learning to like how I look.
Rewarding yourself is important, I used to punish myself for every pound, every bite, I really beat myself up. I think it is nice to be positive and reward myself for losing weight naturally. 200 was a bit much, but it was birthday money... I have a little left and after the next five pounds I'm gonna buy some new shoes, because mine are either falling appart, or the dog slaughtered them. I am giving away alot of my old clothes now that I got new ones. I am going to donate them to this thrift shop that supports cancer and aids research.
Now I am going to talk about what has got me motivated and thinking positively because I feel it is uplifting, helpful and valuable to others. I meditate before I exercise. It really turns exercise into something else, it makes it ME time, instead of something that feels like a chore.
I read this article in Yogi Times (October 2007 issue 56) and it really opened my eyes. I am back to doing yoga again (carefully of course I'm only six weeks post op) and I have found the love for walking long walks (1-2hours a day) where I can think and have me time. I even want to try pilates, just to mix it up.
Exercise is important not only for my body but it really has helped with my depression, getting out in the morning in the sun walking the hills by my house is a time where I can get mentally collected, create endorphans (sp?) get my light therapy, conect with my body on a spiritual level with yoga, it really takes care of the whole person. Very relaxing, I noticed my stress has greatly decreased.
The article is called falling in love with your body's movement by Lanee Neil. It inspired me to meditate then say the following things to myself before exercise:
This yoga practice is a way to bless and cure myself.
I joyfully partake in giving my body what it needs. I will be happy I did. <3
My body is an amazing miracle, and this exercise serves to enhance it. <3
I choose to focus on my body in a loving accepting manner durring these minutes of exercise. <3
I exercise because I have the ability to and want to.
Exercising is my treat to myself as a way to love and take care of me.
My yoga practice makes me feel good, strong, and powerful.
I don't have to, but I get to exercise right now. <3
There was also an article in the magazine about yoga helping to beat addiction, I view my eating disorder as an addiction, so I found it helpful. The article was The Recovery Sutras: Yoga, Habit and Freedom From Addiction by Robert Bimberg.
So I'm sure you are wondering what I am eating by now. 1244 calories! Crazy huh? I am eating at least 1200 a day, of fresh fruits and veggies, mostly raw, 1200 calories worth of fruits and veggies is alot of food! I never feel hungry and always feel full of energy.
I don't cook with oil when I cook, I use water, and generally prefer to eat organic and raw foods. I never eat out (with a one time exception I made). The only packaged foods I consume are food 4 life breads (that are vegan), Tofu, Soymilk, and Soy Yogurt. On special occasion I will use some smart ground (meatless ground beef style faux meat) but usually only because I am cooking for my boyfriend of my sister or both... I created a dish with it that was waaaaaay filling, full of yummy veggies and only 250 calories for a very large portion. Measuring all ingredients has been key! Measuring all portions I eat, recording it in a food/ exercise diary and recording the calories. I have this book called calorie king, which has pretty much anything and its calories in it.
I am taking my multi vitamin, Maxisorb Vegetarian Support Appropriate for Vegans by Country Life and Drinking either one-two servings of the following Naked Superfood Greed Machine, Odwalla Superfood, Which can be expensive and I only grab it on the go because I picked up Amazing Grass Green Superfood All Natural Drink Powder Which is cool because it's organic, and has Wheat Grass, Barley Grass, Alfalfa, Spirulina, Spinach, Chlorella, and brocolli, really good for the digestive system, I use this at home, the only disadvantage is it does not contain any blue green algae and by itself, blue green algae was too expensive so I still drink naked alot. Either way I am taking care of my digestion.
I am also drinking about five glasses of green tea a day, for health benefits, but have kicked coffee aside from a treat now and then. I replaced coffee with chinese ginsing and I dont get all crashed mid day. To sleep at night I am taking a blend of valerian root and passion flower, couldnt find melatonin tea, but this seems to be working fine.
I'm drinking about 32-64oz of water a day, and 1 cup of silk unsweetened soymilk, then aside from my tea regamine, and green superfoods I am not drinking my calories. I am allowed one soy yogurt a day as a treat if I did well with my caloric intake, like desert. I enjoy whole soy and co or silk live, in lemon, peach or lime. I am doing well I'd say. For someone who would fast for days and days, purge and never eat over 800 calories, 800 was a bad day for me, 200-400 was more my past caloric intake, I would definately say I am doing better.
Heres to the whole me.
Andrew has been a wonderful romantic sweetie lately, he took me to this great view to look at stars and watch planes fly into LAX and then we went to the beach, and the next night went to the same spot to watch a meteor shower. Unfortunately there are alot of fires and wind right now, and I have to stay inside because of my lungs but next weekend he's taking me to this lovely vegan place off sunset called California Vegan (awesome vegan tofu red curry) and then to the El Capitan Theater to see Nightmare Before Christmas 3D. I love him <3
-KG [Putting the FU in Tofu]
(my myspace blog now has pictures and recipes in it! if you're interested)
I gained almost thirty pounds at first, I went from 95lbs to 123lbs. I have not been happy about it but I have been trying hard and focusing on being healthy not thin, and eating in a manner that is healthy, not binging, not starving. I've slipped up along the way but I can honestly say I have not purged in almost two months and I have learnd to love ME. I still have times where I feel like I did, in fact it happens alot but I am not giving in to my negative thoughts. My boyfriend has been so supportive too. He loves my curves. =) I'll talk about hoy romantic he has been in a bit, for now back to my weight issues.
I am dieting again as of two weeks ago officially. I'm doing it right though, no more starving and all that. Good ol' fashioned exercise and healthy eating. I got to 123lbs When I began my new diet and have lost five pounds. I weigh in now at 118lbs! I have tone to my body and I feel great. I treated myself over the weekend to a shopping spree of 200$ to reward myself for losing five pounds. I got mostly shirts that fit now but will fit better when I reach my goal weight which is only eight pounds away. But I got some jeans (really cute freakin jeans) Which was important because If I try to fit back into the zero's I will be unhealthy. I need to accept my bodies new size. I have been lounging about in sweats and pj's through recovery and I just wanted so bad to be able to go out again to feel cute again. I think I have more confidence now, and I am learning to like how I look.
Rewarding yourself is important, I used to punish myself for every pound, every bite, I really beat myself up. I think it is nice to be positive and reward myself for losing weight naturally. 200 was a bit much, but it was birthday money... I have a little left and after the next five pounds I'm gonna buy some new shoes, because mine are either falling appart, or the dog slaughtered them. I am giving away alot of my old clothes now that I got new ones. I am going to donate them to this thrift shop that supports cancer and aids research.
Now I am going to talk about what has got me motivated and thinking positively because I feel it is uplifting, helpful and valuable to others. I meditate before I exercise. It really turns exercise into something else, it makes it ME time, instead of something that feels like a chore.
I read this article in Yogi Times (October 2007 issue 56) and it really opened my eyes. I am back to doing yoga again (carefully of course I'm only six weeks post op) and I have found the love for walking long walks (1-2hours a day) where I can think and have me time. I even want to try pilates, just to mix it up.
Exercise is important not only for my body but it really has helped with my depression, getting out in the morning in the sun walking the hills by my house is a time where I can get mentally collected, create endorphans (sp?) get my light therapy, conect with my body on a spiritual level with yoga, it really takes care of the whole person. Very relaxing, I noticed my stress has greatly decreased.
The article is called falling in love with your body's movement by Lanee Neil. It inspired me to meditate then say the following things to myself before exercise:
This yoga practice is a way to bless and cure myself.
I joyfully partake in giving my body what it needs. I will be happy I did. <3
My body is an amazing miracle, and this exercise serves to enhance it. <3
I choose to focus on my body in a loving accepting manner durring these minutes of exercise. <3
I exercise because I have the ability to and want to.
Exercising is my treat to myself as a way to love and take care of me.
My yoga practice makes me feel good, strong, and powerful.
I don't have to, but I get to exercise right now. <3
There was also an article in the magazine about yoga helping to beat addiction, I view my eating disorder as an addiction, so I found it helpful. The article was The Recovery Sutras: Yoga, Habit and Freedom From Addiction by Robert Bimberg.
So I'm sure you are wondering what I am eating by now. 1244 calories! Crazy huh? I am eating at least 1200 a day, of fresh fruits and veggies, mostly raw, 1200 calories worth of fruits and veggies is alot of food! I never feel hungry and always feel full of energy.
I don't cook with oil when I cook, I use water, and generally prefer to eat organic and raw foods. I never eat out (with a one time exception I made). The only packaged foods I consume are food 4 life breads (that are vegan), Tofu, Soymilk, and Soy Yogurt. On special occasion I will use some smart ground (meatless ground beef style faux meat) but usually only because I am cooking for my boyfriend of my sister or both... I created a dish with it that was waaaaaay filling, full of yummy veggies and only 250 calories for a very large portion. Measuring all ingredients has been key! Measuring all portions I eat, recording it in a food/ exercise diary and recording the calories. I have this book called calorie king, which has pretty much anything and its calories in it.
I am taking my multi vitamin, Maxisorb Vegetarian Support Appropriate for Vegans by Country Life and Drinking either one-two servings of the following Naked Superfood Greed Machine, Odwalla Superfood, Which can be expensive and I only grab it on the go because I picked up Amazing Grass Green Superfood All Natural Drink Powder Which is cool because it's organic, and has Wheat Grass, Barley Grass, Alfalfa, Spirulina, Spinach, Chlorella, and brocolli, really good for the digestive system, I use this at home, the only disadvantage is it does not contain any blue green algae and by itself, blue green algae was too expensive so I still drink naked alot. Either way I am taking care of my digestion.
I am also drinking about five glasses of green tea a day, for health benefits, but have kicked coffee aside from a treat now and then. I replaced coffee with chinese ginsing and I dont get all crashed mid day. To sleep at night I am taking a blend of valerian root and passion flower, couldnt find melatonin tea, but this seems to be working fine.
I'm drinking about 32-64oz of water a day, and 1 cup of silk unsweetened soymilk, then aside from my tea regamine, and green superfoods I am not drinking my calories. I am allowed one soy yogurt a day as a treat if I did well with my caloric intake, like desert. I enjoy whole soy and co or silk live, in lemon, peach or lime. I am doing well I'd say. For someone who would fast for days and days, purge and never eat over 800 calories, 800 was a bad day for me, 200-400 was more my past caloric intake, I would definately say I am doing better.
Heres to the whole me.
Andrew has been a wonderful romantic sweetie lately, he took me to this great view to look at stars and watch planes fly into LAX and then we went to the beach, and the next night went to the same spot to watch a meteor shower. Unfortunately there are alot of fires and wind right now, and I have to stay inside because of my lungs but next weekend he's taking me to this lovely vegan place off sunset called California Vegan (awesome vegan tofu red curry) and then to the El Capitan Theater to see Nightmare Before Christmas 3D. I love him <3
-KG [Putting the FU in Tofu]
(my myspace blog now has pictures and recipes in it! if you're interested)
happy